Time of death: 9:13 on June 21st, 2008. The microwave had been suffering from a peculiar syndrome that caused the aforementioned to resemble the character of a baby dragon. This was evidenced by intermittent flashing lights, rumblings, acrid smells, and various other unpleasant symptoms. The sudden expiration of this faithful machine was shocking, although not wholly unexpected. All seemed well as I used it to make oatmeal. But later, when mom was attempting to warm a mug of tea, a deathly smell filled the air and the microwave was still and cold. Like the tea. I had to laugh when I came home and saw that mom had taped off the dearly departed as a reminder for the living to leave it alone. She had written “R I P” across it, and being the Latin student that she is, added “Reqiescat In Pace” for good measure.